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This is how by augusten burroughs5/21/2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() Not only this, such a search is irrelevant to what we need to do now to cope, which is to focus on the present and keep busy with activities such as exercise or housework so as to break the ''addiction'' of dwelling on the past. ![]() It's futile to try to understand the damage we have suffered, he says, because we only have our perspective about what happened, and not the perpetrator's or the bystander's. This is bullshit, says Burroughs, who says he wasted years of his life trying to understand why his mother, Margaret, a manic-depressive writer, and father, John, a philosophy professor at the University of Massachusetts, did what they did, which included turning a blind eye while he was being sexually abused by another patient of his adoptive father for three years. Take those of us who dwell on a painful experience from our past because it ''haunts us'' and feel we have to ''make peace'' with it before we can move on. For instance, he says if you strip away all the misunderstandings and lies that surround any situation, and instead confront the ''in-your-face, ignore-at-your-peril'' truth that underlies it, you can get over it. ![]()
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